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The day after that, I sent him a link to an article I thought would interest him. (It’s been a week.) Since I’m the one who sent the last text, I’d say he’s the one ghosting me. Should I try a quick “Hey, how have you been,” wait it out, or assume this is over?

He replied, “Crazy.” I agreed and mentioned something else I thought he would find interesting. He does not think you are ghosting him because you are not ghosting him.

I am in the middle of a divorce from my husband of almost 10 years.

I had an affair with an out-of-state co-worker toward the end of my marriage and developed feelings for him. That’s not to say that what you’re going through is a universal stage of emotional development, but betrayal and shame and self-loathing are all recognizable recurring themes in human relationships.

So I told him the following Monday that the chase was back on. This letter started unraveling about two sentences in and I’m not quite sure where to start.

Our flirtatious behavior has since become much more intense, while remaining discreet. I would like to establish that relationship with him, but I am unsure if I ruined it by being too overbearing. Let’s start with the fact that your co-worker—a still-married man in his 40s—is apparently in the habit of inviting his twentysomething female colleagues over to his house while his children are away.

Since both of your exes are now just that—exes—you’ve got a lot of time on your hands to get into therapy, take yourself temporarily off the dating market, and figure out what you want your relationships to look like in the future.

Pain is an excellent motivator, and I think you have plenty of it to make a good start.

Many alcoholics experience relapse or slipups early in their recovery.

We decided to proceed with a “friends with benefits” situation since our relationship is complicated. At the end of that week, he told me that he preferred the sexual tension and “the thrill of the chase” to our new arrangement, although he did not want to ruin our friendship. After a few days, I realized that I may have appeared too clingy and annoying—especially since a man in his 40s probably does not want his hookup texting him every day.

I am never the clingy one, and it irritates me to think that I was.

I think he’s a creep and a bad employee (he can’t It would be a lousy move for him to pull even if he were a guy your age you met at a bar and started sleeping with casually; the fact that he did this while you two were supposed to be working together speaks volumes about his character and professional standards (or lack thereof).

To answer your question, then: The best place for you to go from here is out of this weird, boundary-less, incestuous little office and into a sane workplace with a robust HR department.

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