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Why do my mensches of the month have to fit into tidy calendar boxes?What I want is a nice Jewish guy — and if he’s got a naughty side, amen to that!But he wasn’t really a Nice Jewish Guy — even if he did look like a page ripped right out of the calendar.Looking decidedly dorky shouldn’t presuppose high moral character.The teacher had said: “We talked about strength, and we talked about self-control and being able to control your emotions and making sacrifices for others.You know, we talked about how if you have a family and you only have enough money for two cheeseburgers, you’re not going to eat…you know you are going to feed your wife and your kids and you wait.” The researchers censured this teacher and castigated the tendency of other teachers to reinforce traditional gender stereotypes….

Perhaps not being in a relationship at all is preferable to agonizing over trying to move a brick wall.Taking care of a family – taking responsibility, being committed to the people in his care, putting their needs first – is what makes a man into a man.While it may not be good for women when men wait until they are 35 to settle down, for men it is disastrous: they may never meet the hero they could have been.One of the reasons may be the “c” word (commitment), which men are supposedly notoriously afraid of. Western society seems to think the solution is to just give up on commitment and let boys be boys.I thought about that recently when one of my students, after bemoaning her boyfriend’s refusal to commit to a wedding date (despite their three-year relationship), sighed resignedly and said, “Well, I guess, it’s to be expected.




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