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Every day, they put their money behind their words.

The way her chin set forward, like cut from stone, she was the confidence I put on each morning, costumed in five-dollar aviators and halter tops bought in Koreatown. I loved Jesus like the good Mormon girl I was raised to be.

She didn’t apologize for her body or her sexuality.

She knew she was beautiful because production men told her so.

“Papa, the kids are bullying me because of our last name,” I tell my father, who’s of Russian descent, and Jewish, at home later that day. “It’s technically pronounced ‘Fooks.’” “Well, it’s ‘Fucks’ now, muthafucka,” he replies. Of course, none of these characteristics escaped the notice of my classmates, who reveled in torturing me over anything that made me stand out. ” Much to my surprise, I manage to convince my parents to buy me a pair of top-of-the-line, rich cobalt, high-top Filas – sneakers that carried a bit of cache in the ’80s. The group beating is incited by an innocent remark I make when a classmate snipes, “How come you’re Jewish? “We go by majority – your grandmother, mother, and I picked out Finn, so from now on your name will be Allan Finn!There was “Trained Teens 3,” the movie that helped me buy my first car, a red convertible that made me feel so L. My skin prickled as I remembered how I’d kept the top down so I could see the palm trees, even when the wind gave my skinny arms goosebumps. But then I couldn’t find a job doing anything else.It had been my ride to anonymous mansions in the Valley where the cold hands of spray-tanned dudes would slam my hips on top of their dicks. The endless rejection after rounds of casting calls for bit parts in TV pilots that never got picked up anyway mixed with a bank account that always seemed to be plummeting weighed heavy.When will you stop pretending to be someone you’re not? Reverting back to it has been strange and surreal – the memories the name summons are far from pleasant. s I left the gym to go to work, I opened my phone and tapped a little red notification dot.” The first name change was a capitulation to bullies, xenophobes, and conformists. Yet, there’s a certain gratification to seeing my real name on a comedy lineup. Fuks is the name that was handed down to me from a long line of tough, proud people who survived discrimination, pogroms, and the Holocaust. It revealed an XXX profile link that an internet troll had left on my personal Twitter page.




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Anthony of Padua who is never featured without the little child in his arms or sitting on his knee.