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It’s one of the housekeeping chores you should take care of before putting yourself out there, for the sake of healthy future relationships and the well-being of your children.

“Keep the conversation with an ex restricted to parenting,” says Dr. “Don’t get into the the he-said, she-said or delve back into why you broke up.

“Financial stability in a prospective partner is a clear indicator that her or his life is in order,” explains Winter.

“You have enough going on by yourself—you don’t need the burden of falling for someone who can’t take care of him or herself.” Serious prospects should show a balance between earning and saving before you consider moving forward romantically.

Still, the experts say single moms would do well to look for prospects in places other than our glowing screens.

“We treat online dating like we do our social media streams and select only the images that stand out to us,” says Silva.

“You already have a family, so if you want more than a fun hookup, your focus should be on a man who’s clearly father material,” says Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of . “Keeping your sex life separate from your child is crucial,” she says.

“If you’re splitting your kids’ time between you, remember that what happens at your ex’s house is up to him or her, and what happens at your house is up to you, unless it’s a safety issue,” she says.

(Exhibit A: Me.) “It’s important for a single mother to find a partner who is at her level and has the maturity to be a step parent,” says Dr. “He or she doesn’t have to be much older to be both of those things.” Known best for being the experimental and selfish decade, your twenties are certainly a time for exploration and growth – not only for your interests and travels, but for who you are as a person.

When you’re a 20-something single mom, though, it can be a little tough to remember that …and even though you’re confident in your role as a mother, you still have a lot to learn about yourself.

Jenn Mann, host and lead psychotherapist of VH1’s “Couples Therapy with Dr.

Jenn,” and author of For better results when checking out prospects online, “focus on characteristics, qualities, and life desires,” adds Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, clinician and author of the relationship wellness blog, That means that if they didn’t bother to include those interests in their profile, they’re probably not worth a date.




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“In general there needs to be a balance.” In addition to waiting longer and dating more, Chinese young people are also looking for different traits in potential partners than their parents did.


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