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Naturally, we decided to rank them, according to our proprietary and secret formula that prizes bearability, watchability, and how well they've come to define our concept of Real Housewife.62. Little did they know they'd have to go spelunking with a lantern and a canary to find her.

Kimberly Bryant (OC, Season 1): Kimberly was an original housewife, and actually had a cancer scare during her season. De Shawn Snow (ATL, Season 1): It's almost certain that De Shawn did something on the first season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, it's just that no one alive can say what that was. Peggy (right) was a waste of a perfectly good canary. Quinn Fry (OC, Season 3): must be the franchise with the most one-season flings.

She apparently witnessed Vicki in a semi-threesome and lived to tell the tale (over and over), a testament perhaps to her sturdiness and unnatural immortality. She named her children Destiny, Mysteri, and Cross, and if you so much as blink at that — as poor shiny-haired Joyce did — prepare to be cursed.

This is a woman who believes she has the power to harness evil in the world and direct it at her enemies. Alex Mc Cord (NY, Seasons 1-4): In many ways, Alex (right) was the best, if what you're looking for in a Housewife is complete cluelessness and utter quotability.

She recognized that she was on the chopping block (especially after Sheree was axed) and started beefing with the likes of Kenya, but she always seems to revert to dullness.

Also, her attempts to be "funny" and have "attitude" in interviews are physically painful to watch.43.

Say that again slowly, "queen bee of Miami." Now laugh to yourself. Tammy Knickerbocker (OC, Season 2-3): Tammy was the Eeyore of the OC Housewives.

When other people are mean to her, they deserve the full wrath of mean Jesus. She created a Hollywood Icons costume party for the sole purpose of making Porsha dress up as It's said that the being we know as Lauri came from the depraved will of men and their wretched potions: botox, peroxide, and silicon.

While her history and origin is a dark mystery, we know from her seasons on the show that Lauri is a vindictive creature showing no loyalty to her spawn (Josh) or her previous allies (Vicki).

You can't keep Kim down, however — this season, she planned a “Coachella-themed” graduation party for her daughter, Kimberley, and it was perfect. Lynne Curtin (OC Seasons 4-5): Lynne has the distinction of having a few of the realest storylines in the and drank whenever they had a camera on them.

Lynne and her husband Frank had real estate problems.

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