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It’s one of many customs in which American cultural norms deviate from those of the UK and Europe.In most places in the world, asking a stranger what kind of work he or she does, especially without any pretext, is frowned upon. ” is finally becoming a tainted question in North America, too.As an alternative, one of the easiest routes into a conversation may be to remark on a shared experience—yes, you can have these with a stranger; think of the weather, or the spread on offer at a party.Post Senning suggests an ice breaker like, “Looks like it’s about to rain” or “This food looks delicious.” But these mini-commentaries don’t always have to be that mundane.

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Post Senning is Emily Post’s great-great grandson, and a co-author of 18th edition.

In the United States and Canada, however, one opener dominates: what do you do?

Whatever the reason—the influence of a Protestant work ethic, or a desperate attempt to not appear classist—North Americans habitually start a conversation with strangers by asking what they do for a living.

Your opening line could be an appreciation of the quality of light coming through a window, he suggests.

Kio Stark, author of , refers to the shared-experience strategy as triangulation.




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