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Many scientists prefer a definition based exclusively on attraction because behavior and identity are more fluid.

For some behavior and self-definitions may evolve over time.

"Am I defined accurately as bisexual only if I have one ejaculation with a woman for every ejaculation I have with a man?

" I was accused of being a poor scientist and unfamiliar with the literature on bisexuality. One bisexual man wrote that a bisexual could be any of the following:• Straight-identified married men who have surreptitious sex with other men.• Single men with steady girlfriends • Divorced men who partner with another man but remain attracted to women• Transgender persons and their transgender partners• Men in polyamorous relationships. I could cop out and say that labels are useless and this discussion is meaningless, but labels are essential for research and important for the development of a sense of belonging.

Bisexual activists are attempting to do the same with the term bisexual but they struggle to find recognition and social acceptance of bisexuality.

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I wrote, "Bisexuality is being sexually attracted equally to both men and women." The response was swift and furious.Many gay activists consider all closeted men who have sex with men (MSM) to be gay men in hiding, illegitimate members of the gay community.Bisexual activists and the MSM themselves often use "bisexual," but many of these MSM have not found the peace and freedom that comes with congruence of attraction, behavior and identity.One said to me, "I identify myself as bisexual, but I feel guilty for stepping out of my marriage to find the intimacy I crave.It is very difficult to maintain a loving relationship at home with my wife." Some have dealt with this by developing small circles of friends committed to polyamory.




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To elaborate is no avail, learn'd and unlearn'd feel that it is so.