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Basically, it’s letting another person know that you accept and understand his feelings, whether you agree with what he’s said or not.

Some experts in BPD diagnosis and treatment think that another important childhood experience, The tendency to respond in these ways in emotional situations can make it even harder to cope with growing up in an emotionally invalidating environment.

In an invalidating environment, you're essentially told that your expression of feelings is The “invalidator” may deny, ignore, ridicule, deliberately misinterpret, or be critical of your feelings.

As I described in my post on the family dynamics of borderline personality disorder, “Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said.

Unfortunately, when someone disqualifies what they are saying in this manner, the other people listening are on shaky ground when trying to determine what is actually being communicated to them. In fact, just when listeners think they have a fix on it, such people may contradict themselves, leaving listeners to start to doubt their own perceptions about what was just said.

In other words, when someone disqualifies themselves, they are often invalidating the person listening to them.

Such a person will disqualify what they are trying to get across just in case it is unacceptable to others.

If it is, then they can claim that they were merely misunderstood.




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