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It’s overwhelming and intimidating to men and women alike to have monetary or career success flaunted in front of them.

Dress in a down-to-earth manner if you want to be approachable and immediately likable.

2 View All Next »I want to introduce you to someone. She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.

And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. But “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once.

A shy guy, even one who wishes women would be more assertive and take the initiative, can have a low threshold when it comes to directness and energy.

Similarly, if a man is interested in a woman who’s more in line with the idea of more traditionally feminine or lady-like behavior, he isn’t going to make for a good boyfriend for an outgoing, dominant or non-traditional lady.

The more beautiful or desirable a woman, the more she can have her pick of men.

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If your date put together a great outfit, let him know. Politeness and praise go a long way in avoiding intimidation. If you are only talking about yourself, it may not be that he is intimidated by you; he may be bored. Rachel Greenwald, a professional dating coach and blogger for "The Huffington Post," reminds us that dating is a game.

In other words, they are not looking for additional male energy.

Jacoby claims that what men want most “is a feminine, nurturing, kind, caring, easy-going woman." Dress for the occasion and dress like a confident woman, Jacoby advises. Don’t wear a fur, lots of expensive jewelry or a power suit.

She has a job she loves that pays good money, money that she likes to spend on her geeky hobbies and toys. – she hears the same thing over and over again: “You’re too intimidating…” Does this sound familiar to you? In fact, going by the number of emails I get from my readers, it’s most common issue that geek (or geek-curious) women encounter when they’re interested in dating.

She’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen. Well, whenever she’s interested in a guy – a guy who’s worth her time, because what’s the point of having standards if she’s not going to stick to ‘em?




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Did I meet wonderful, generous and inspiring people through couchsurfing? However, there were definitely situations where I was distinctly uncomfortable. Aside from the typical safety tips – only stay with approved hosts, tell your friends where you’re going to be, let them know someone will miss you if you’re away and read previous surfer reviews like you’re buying the most expensive car of your life – there are a few other tips you can make use of: When on a person’s page, check how many of their references are the opposite gender, and check how many are attractive: if it is a large percentage, even if the reviews are glowing, chances are couchsurfing is their mini-dating site. Also, to avoid hassle, try to stay with hosts of the same gender, or couples.


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