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However, these men are often punished by being socially labeled as "jerks", "players", or even "creeps", unfit for socially-defined relationships.

Today, men are given confusing and contradictory advice.

Again though, men pursuing this strategy also report the need to stay vigilant for their partner's waning attraction, signs of cheating, and being taken for granted (much as women in "traditional" relationships do).

With divorce a very real (and punishing) possibility, these men may also choose to think carefully before committing.

Men often define these women along evolutionary psychology lines—women who are sexually-selective, faithful, physically attractive, and have a pleasant, respectful disposition (for more on these qualities, see Buss, 2003 and my own articles here and here).

Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.

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Racial depersonalization can be especially hurtful to Asian women in situations where being recognized as an individual is important, such as romantic relationships, because a person may feel unloved if they sense they could be replaced by someone with similar qualities.

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