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You might not ever want to have the sort of sex that horrifies my friends, but maybe you'd really enjoy playing with a vibrator or two, or having syrup drizzled on some random body part and licked off, or maybe there is some special trick that someone can do with your body that - you never figured out why - just really works for you and you alone.That's never going to happen if neither of you can talk to your partner about it.& the pervasiveness of rape culture makes a whole lot more sense now.I'm not sure I've ever dated a woman who believed that, & I think I will actively avoid doing so.

It just terrifies me that the result of people being shy where it comes to just talking about a topic is that it opens the door to so many people getting hurt.

Folks like me - freaky-deaky folks who like to negotiate our scary sex up front look on at these people in awe and say 'Woah, that's hardcore'... For people who date in the mainstream it is apparently relatively normal to go back to some guy's house after you've just met him or had maybe a couple of dates and say 'do whatever you want to me, just don't ask first.'* Woah... After all, there really aren't that many folks who are into wasabi nasal fisting!

The other trouble with Schrodinger Sex is that, even if it goes well, it is almost without exception bad sex.

Worse still, this was not the first date to have told my friend that same thing. I'm sitting there literally open-mouthed in horror as my friend tells me this.

I don't know much about Louis CK's other comedy, but he pretty much nails this one right here in this clip: "Are you out of your fucking MIND?! Vanilla ladies, if you're reading this (and I hope at least some of you are), I want you to know that what you're asking for is known to the kinky community as 'consensual non-consent' or 'rape play' and it's considered to be 'extreme' even by people who literally put needles in each other for fun.

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