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Many more teens are in relationships that, if not exactly like Rihanna and Chris Brown, are nonetheless unequal and unhealthy with one partner dominating the other. Let me see your phone,” mimics Maryland high school teacher Erika Chavarria. What contemporary media presents to teens and tweens as “love” today is actually about sex and control.

This adds up to 1.5 million high school students last year alone.

Our definition should include not only physical abuse, but also sexual, verbal and emotional, and digital abuses.

“It can appear in a lot of different ways,” warns Colomé.

Or is it an act of control to isolate a victim from friends?

“You can see the partner grab their hand in that way,” says New York college student Trendha Hunter, a member of loveisrespect’s teen advisory board.

adolescents say they’ve experienced some kind of abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal—in their romantic relationships, and one out of 10 have been purposefully hit, slapped, or physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend, according to data collected by Break the Cycle and its youth-oriented project, .

Constant texting, like hundreds of times a day, to ask, “Where are you? “People usually think of texting and social media, but it can go further.Deloris Rome Hudson’s experience is even more haunting: She remembers a popular girl who was dominated by her drop-out boyfriend, and then strangled.Of course, Rome Hudson mourns the victim, but she also thinks: “Here’s this guy, and I don’t know what would have helped him, but that’s one I wish I would have gotten to…” But most teen relationships are not violent.Most schools just don’t have the space for it.” But that kind of social and emotional learning is what prevents abuse, and makes it possible for students to learn how to develop and maintain positive relationships into adulthood.Resources are available for educators who want to establish the importance of healthy relationships.

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