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When you were dating, your parents likely had you carry change for a pay phone — just in case. Mom wouldn’t have let you out the door wearing a micro-mini skirt or a skimpy bikini.

And an even larger percentage experience at least occasional trouble with achieving or maintaining an erection.

For example: Many mature adults, especially those 65 who are recently widowed or divorced, often reach out and tell me it’s been a long time since they’ve been back in the dating scene and a frank conversation is just what they’re looking for from anyone who is willing to broach the subject.

I believe it’s about time we set aside the notion that you can’t give advice (sexual or non) to anyone who is older.

As a passionate advocate in the field of gerontology, this has always been my mantra.

But our culture and the subject of dating and sexuality, in general, has definitely changed over the last decade due to advances in technology (online dating, for instance) and the vast increases in longevity, widowhood and divorce.

In my 20 years of working as an advocate for caregivers, baby boomers and mature adults, I’ve never seen such a strong reaction to a topic.

“They’re old, not stupid” wrote one Huff Post50 reader.

dating etiquette seniors-23dating etiquette seniors-14

These are all legitimate concerns and it’s prudent to be cautious, but at a certain point it is your parent’s decision and should be respected.

Perhaps over your teen and young-adult years your parent(s) initiated many talks about love, dating, sex and the selection of a life partner. She also gets to know more about him to decide just how interested she is. To your parents’ distress, the ability to get an erection was probably never an issue for the pimply-faced teenager you dated.

Now, as the adult child of an aging parent you may find the tables have turned, and it’s your turn to have “the talk.” Sure, it’s hard. Besides, if he also knows the rule, he’ll make an effort to ask questions and give her ample opportunity to talk, too. For as many as 25 percent of 65-year-old men, however, erectile dysfunction is a regular problem, according to the National Institutes of Health.

(Carrying quarters is still a good idea for toll plazas and parking meters, however.) Make sure your parent doesn’t leave the house without a fully charged cell phone – but remind Dad to avoid using the phone to check on sports scores, grandchildren or the latest cool apps. (The same goes for Dad – tiny Speedos are an absolute “no-no” if he takes a lady friend to the beach or pool! If mom wants to look sexy for her date, a turtleneck probably isn’t a good idea either, but neither is a plunging neckline that shows way too much cleavage. But remind her of the one rule of dating that has persisted even since she was a teenager: Let your date do the talking.

If your parent is recently widowed or divorced, or has decided after some time of singledom that it’s time to look for love, here are 7 pieces of advice you may want to offer for dating in the 21st century. Today, a pay phone is a rare find and a couple of quarters just won’t cut it if Mom needs to call for help or a ride home. Now it’s time for you to broach the subject of modesty with her. If your parent has lived alone for a while, it can be tempting to talk when she finds a listening ear.




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