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If you have a happy and balanced relationship, having a significant other during your college years isn’t going to hurt you or ruin your experience. You can absolutely still get the most out of college without sleeping around – hooking up with lots of people might make a great experience for some people, but everyone is different. “One of my friends was dumped by a guy after they’d been hooking up for less than a week.When he broke up with her, the guy actually used the word ‘market’—like the ‘market’ for him was just too good.” A male Sarah Lawrence student offered a similar assessment of life there—though he wasn’t bemoaning the school’s hookup culture but celebrating it.

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It’s supposed to be the time when teenage boys and girls “find themselves”, when they start to mature, make a whole new set of friends, go out and have fun, have new experiences, and generally just have a great time.And, no, it’s not the mostly male colleges where the hookup culture reigns supreme. Because the way today’s heterosexual college students describe sex and dating at their own schools matches up with the scholarly research on gender ratios and how they affect behavior.As I explain in my book “DATE-ONOMICS: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game,” when men are in oversupply, the dating culture emphasizes courtship and monogamy.“Everyone’s self-esteem takes a hit,” a young woman at 75%-female Sarah Lawrence College told me.One reason: Sarah Lawrence men have little interest in exclusive relationships. It’s like they have their own free harem,” she grumbled.




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