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A text message takes 20 minutes and a dictionary to compose. Is dating in Belgium truly any more difficult than it would be at home? Like most things in our lives involving people and emotions, we can’t strategise for the ultimate partner.

The dreaded plane comes, long-distance love ensues, with romantic but costly trips to their new home, much wringing of hands, long goodbyes, torment and Skype, as suddenly all of Brussels is available and ready to go out with you, but you are unfortunately betrothed to your faraway beau.You begin to casually eye up Flanders, wondering what a trip to Ghent might bring you. But then you discover that it seems like Belgians don’t actually date; they all met each other when they were 18 and have been building their house ever since. Or you may have been struck down by the dreaded Compound Syndrome, where you start dating someone totally unsuitable due to lack of choice. But on the other hand, the temptation to take control is understandable, because if not, we’re leaving one of the biggest parts of our lives to chance. So, you might not be able to plan who you end up with, but there are things you can do to try to meet more people and improve your dating life. A friend went to the laundrette and came home with an extra sock and a date with a Frenchman. Change your habits just a bit and you will be surprised who comes into your life.You have the uncomfortable feeling of looking at your other half and wondering if you’d ever have given them a chance if you’d met them in your home country. When embarking on dating in a city like Brussels, there are many things to be taken into consideration that would not be an issue at home. In my native Ireland, a pub is considered a perfectly acceptable place to meet your future partner. But my Belgian friends are horrified, thinking only unseemly types trawl the bars. They’re not going to find you at home on your couch (unless you end up falling for your Bulex repair man, who, knowing boilers in Belgium, you’ll probably end up seeing quite a lot of). Even though it may have its difficulties, dating often depends on your willingness to adapt and your ability to reframe things in a positive way.Tolstoy knew it; Jane Austen had the measure of many a man. So many guides, books, dating seminars: He’s Just Not That Into You, because Men Like Women Who Like Themselves, according to The Rules. But when it comes to dating, maybe its lack of rules and tradition is a disadvantage. For many of us, so many people around us would be marrying and having children that maybe we’d be taking the hint too. This is Belgium – you’re not sure what to integrate into anyway, and you’ve no idea which one of three native tongues and one broken one to start conversations in. Then you find out he’s moving to the Congo for a humanitarian mission, or that she’s got the internship of her dreams in Outer Mongolia and can’t have visitors.The love of your life doesn’t simply fall into your lap. It’s not like New York, talkative and super-sociable with its endless supply of available people. It’s unchartered territory, and there’s nobody to show you the way. Brussels is often described as transient, and your enthusiasm for dating sure wanes a little after hearing your fourth rendition of “Damn, I’m only here for six months!




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