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If you’re a cool chick you’d be better off in the UK, or Italy, or Serbia.’ Through talking to Richard I began to understand why he had a happier time dating ‘well behaved’ women, but I still couldn’t get away from the strangeness of moving abroad specifically to find a partner. He told me: ‘I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.You can move to a city for work or for money, and to say your love life is less important is stupid. If you look at any tour book for Melbourne, the first thing mentioned to visit are the laneways and coffee shop. Imagine being in China where coffee doesn't meet his standards? As a Melbourne Boy, he is an entitled coffee snob I'll admit, Melbourne has an incredible coffee scene. So the first time the Aussie was in LA, he could not find ANY coffee, but after a year or so, forcefully, we found coffee shops that satisfies his coffee snobery thirst.This kind of stuff is not really at all acceptable [in Eastern Europe].

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What not to do If you meet a British guy and love, love, love his accent, don’t gush about it.

Tentatively I explore why Richard thinks men should eschew British women and their good time mentality, up sticks and go to Russia to find a date.

‘The economics of dating are skewed in women’s favour’ he explains.

‘I think that guys have masculinity and they’re drawn to feminine women’ he tells me.

I want to ask whether wearing a polka dot dress while getting pissed would offset the infraction against femininity, but I don’t. It’s rare to see women in high heels and looking feminine.

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I acknowledge that anybody getting into a relationship with me (with my spotty sobriety) is taking a risk.

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